It is a fact, that it's not fun to fall in love and have that person leaving you behind so many times, making you wait and wait and wait again. Se is always here when I need hem, but sometimes I just want hem nearby even when we're not actually talking. And those jealous people always sneer at me whenever they see me walking alone despite the fact that we are a couple. Such lame acts shouldn't bother me, but sometimes they do.
But today, I just told my companions that I'm going somewhere without telling them that I'm heading for Ajiaga Vuon. I want the Twins to look for me when se gets back. Should be a fine ruse to get hem to realize that it's time for hem to pay more attention to me the way I deserve it as hes legitimate partner.
Ajiaga Vuon is still the way as it was since I was small, and since the last time we came here. Models bustling here and there, movie shootings everywhere. I saw the scout from last time who obviously tried to provoke me with insults. Somehow se found out who my parent was, and compared me to hem, saying I'm a disgrace to the family for being different. And though I'm modelling for another company, I'm a seasonal model, or so se said. I wonder why I even bothered to spend my time listening.
As I sit in my parents' house, I start thinking about my life, then the Twins'. Why won't se tell me what it's like? True that I took time to tell mine too, but there must be a reason to hes secretive, that's what I want to know. Then again who were my family to me? I didn't get to know much about my birth-parent, but I remember that se was kind to me but didn't talk much with the other parent. When I was older the other parent said that se was not the talkative kind, but se took great care of me. The other parent was always busy with work. We were mostly raised by maids, but I never liked them. They used to tease me about how different I was, and that's irritating.
I wonder if my parent even loved us? Se praised us if we were good, and scolded us when we do something bad. But that's only when se's home. Se used to come back late at night and peek into our rooms to see if we were asleep. On hes rare day off, se would read us a book or tell us what our birth-parent was like. I heard we had a death threat from competing rivals, and during that time se was always home with us. When the threat was over, se left again. When the company came seeking me, se just gave me away. I cried after I left with the company. It wasn't because I was sad of leaving. I was sad because se just gave me away. With my differences, I thought no one needed me.
Well, did se really needed me? I don't look like them, I don't act like them. Even my sibling was far different from me. When we walked outside, my parent would shade me from people's stares. Was se ashamed of my existence? I guess not. I bet my parents loved us, loved me, the way parents are. Maybe se was just trying to protect me from the cruel world, se thought I was weak. It was because I wasn't weak that the company came looking for me.
The day I was given away, the company's representative had a talk with my parent which I wasn't listening to. I don't know what it was, but I heard my parent talking in an upset tone. After they quieted down, my parent came to me and said told me to "be good and live a happy life". Se promised to visit. Se did, hes first and hes last.
When I realize it, I am crying. I won't ask why I was born different. It is that difference that brought me happiness with the Twins. It showed me who to believe, what to protect, and where enemies are. People don't understand, I don't care. But I couldn't even convey this feelings to my family, who are now gone forever. Even if they are alive, I still can't blurt out the words or the safety of my companions will be at risk. The Twins always said that being different is tough, now I'm starting to see. To be the only one who understands, while others try and try to understand they never could. When you get a companion who experiences the same thing, you'd feel utter happiness. But when that companion leaves, it hurts so much.
Death is but a while. People meet over and over again.
My family is gone. The Twins still has hes, though se doesn't seem to like them. I want hem to appreciate them more. Se is appreciating them, se does hes responsibilities, and meet them to fulfill their longings. But se only does so because it's hes duty. Job, duty, mission. They say the Twins doesn't have a heart. I know se does have one. I just don't want hem to suffer like me when people are gone.
I will wait for hem to come looking for me. One of us is drifting away, if it's me, I'll swim back to hem.
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